Monday, 5 October 2015

Just another manic Monday

Today I:

Vouched I would eat healthily and drink no wine until Thursday evening, a rare social engagement.

Went to the doctors twice. Once for a scabby face appointment and once to retrieve an orange plastic car that, when pressed (and sporadically it seems), makes noises like Pat Butcher having a fit  and the doctor and his subsequent patients found so utterly painful that the receptionist called to ask I collect it expeditiously.

Visited the pharmacy 4 times, awaiting the promised 'imminent' arrival of scabby face ointment. It arrived at 6.10pm, maaaaaaany minutes past feeding time at the zoo. The scene in the pharmacy was apocalyptic, toddler 'high fiving ' all the Calpol, Rennies and Vagisil shouting 'medicine mummy me need MEDICINE' whilst the infant rolled around on the vinyl floor gurning with his scabby face and pulling a tower of fluorescent hair rollers onto a glass cabinet of Old Spice and CK One (flash back).

Spent 40 minutes trying to retrieve a 2 inch figurine of Penny the female fire fighter from Pontypandy whom was desposited behind the radiator. The Windows meet the radiator with centimetres (2) to spare, the radiator hits the skirting at a terribly irritating angle and despite the delicate use of 3 different types of coat hanger, a cosmetic mirror, 2 tea towels, bundles of elbow grease, shredding a small mountain of crusty paint and quite a considerable amount of groaning - she's still there waiting to melt when the winters radiator activity escalates.

Walked a pasty 2.5 year old 1/2 a mile down the road in just a vest, in rain and 10 degrees C because 'I no want jumper, just ELEPHANT VEST' - a priceless look. The distaining glares were painful. The eventual compromise was a formidable jumper under vest combo that again triggered pitiful gazes from passers by.

With my bare hands, picked up a soggy stool in the bath mistaking it for a sponge... it was more of a wring (as one does to empty a sponge) than a gentle scoop, not pretty, not pretty at all.

Cracked open the Doritos, Galaxy and Malbec. After all we all made it to the end of the day relatively unscathed and I got 3 whole questions correct in University Challenge, well done me.

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